Chronicles of a comical nation

By Tiola
A time will come when this too will become an entertaining anecdote round the dinner table and we’ll be like tee hee hee hee…. Remember when then mace was the political weapon of choice…hee hee…’.but for now, our very own theatre of the absurd moves on and is playing out to a packed house in the Garden City.

To think that our ‘intellectuals’ query the plausibility of Nollywood stories when some of our real life stories are weirder and more outlandish than fiction. Abi how do you explain the on-going situation in River’s State?

[caption id="attachment_402954" align="alignnone" width="412"] Hon Evan Bapakaye at loggerheads with a Mobile Police Officer at the Rivers State House of Assembly during the crisis that rocked the House. Photo: Nwankpa Chijioke[/caption]

Mr Ameachi has been the consistent flavour of the month and Aso Rock can’t seem to get enough. It is a terrible thing to fall in the hands of  an angry, spiteful, Nigerian ‘big man’; especially a politician.

A slight change in state party leadership and suddenly 27 people get suspended. That these 27 happen to be members of the state House of Assembly considered loyal to the sitting Governor is just a tiny coincidence as if that’s not enough to give you whiplash, five people then go ahead and impeach the speaker and install a new one in his stead. Chikena! Home grown democracy a la Nija!

What are we on about any way? But for a few tweaks here and there,and a few changes in the cast,this is the same script that played out in Ogun State during the days of Mr Daniels and his black book. Didn’t eight people oust the Speaker at the time and hold sway in the House for several months? And I stand to be corrected but didn’t  Jona himself become Governor of his state under similar circumstances?Plus our mace has been in worse situations than being used as a cudgel during political disagreements. It’s a paradox; the “mace” itself. For an inanimate object that is repeatedly handled with unparalleled levels of disregard; I don’t understand all the pomp and pageantry surrounding it and why they continue to give it the pride of place. I digress. Just another detail in this current bizarre and yet not unfamiliar drama playing out.

No, these comically insane moments of unbridled passion and fury are not alien to us or as seen from time to time other parts of the world. I guess the fact that social media is more pervasive and readily available and by this people are becoming more socio-politically aware, is what brings this one closer to home and reveals just how ugly it can get. Then again there is something pretty disturbing about watching a man repeatedly hitting someone over the head with a blunt object.

I worry though… about the pawns in the game that is fast turning cut-throat with the lead character declaring his willingness to become the next martyr. With the way and manner in which he has been stripped of his security detail may his words not turn out to be prophetic. And as for those five men, they had better pray that the two elephants currently trampling the ground never kiss and make up! Chai! Even if one is sent on a fool’s errand, wisdom, caution and common sense should apply.

So, finally, Mr President picks his battle. I know many of us would have preferred if he concentrated his considerable might to tackling issues that could have a positive impact on the largest number of people possible, which is the real dividend of democracy, but alas!Frankly, if he had faced Boko Haram relentlessly the way he’s pursuing this other matter the problem for don solve small.

So all this brouhaha to what end? And in his own backyard? I think everybody else had better sit up and take notice. If all of this is really about 2015 as they say, well Jona and his henchmen are giving us a preview of coming attractions.

Then again, each time they pull one of these stunts and heat up the polity, I silently wonder to myself if this will be the tipping point, if this is the one that will unravel everything… for there to be a new dispensation the old one has to come to an end somehow abi? Nothing spoil! I’ve got my popcorn and my front row seat, looking forward to seeing how this episode will play out.

 

Nollywood to mark 20th anniversary, construct village

Lagos - The President, Association of Movie Producers, Zik Okafor, said that plans were on by the film industry to build a Nollywood Village.

Okafor said in Lagos on Tuesday that the gesture was to mark Nollywood’s forthcoming 20 years anniversary celebration.

``We want to set up the Nollywood house, build a magnificent edifice with the inscription `Nollywood’ on it as they have in other climes.

``So that when anybody comes to Nigeria, there is a place they can go and say this is Nollywood village and can get what they want in one place.

``We have been operating from our homes, so we should have a base where we can be located,’’ Okafor said.

According to him, we want a place that can contain television actors, different guild associations, creative designers and so many others in the same environment.

The president said the place, where the village would be sited, would be announced during the anniversary.

Okafor said a Nollywood foundation would also be set up to cater for veterans in the industry.

``We can’t keep on running to government for everything, even when the older ones are sick or any one of us; we have to do a lot by ourselves, but if help comes, no problem.

``The foundation will still be in the same village, so that coordination would be easier,” he said.

Okafor stated that with the establishment of a Nollywood Village, the film sector would be bonded, thereby making it easier for artists and stakeholders in the industry to meet and take quick decisions.

``It is about reconstructing the destiny of our industry for the youth to benefit from it, people talk about Nollywood but you can’t see it anywhere” he said.

According to him, 20 years in the life of an industry is short, but it has made giant strides within the years.

``We shot from VHS to digital cameras. Nollywood’s first home video was ``Living in Bondage” which told the African story that nobody told.

``And now, the world is celebrating us because of our story told by us, it is an achievement.’’

Okafor claimed that successive governments in Nigeria had spent billions of naira trying to launder the country’s image ``unsuccessfully”.

He expressed joy that Nollywood had been able to change the Nigerian image for the better.

``They are not talking about 419 or Nigeria oil issues, everywhere you go, it is Nollywood, in various countries we go to, they greet you; ``Igwe” or ``da alue” thank you,’’ he said.

He, however, said that there was still much to be done to move the industry forward.

The 18-day event would hold between Aug. 9 and Aug. 26, adding that it would feature seminars, workshops, lectures, carnivals, clinics and training clinics.

He stated that the association would also visit the less privileged in the society. (NAN)

“Game on” in Rivers

By Ochereome Nnanna
IT was horrible in the corridors of power in Port Harcourt on Tuesday last week. If it were a scripted Nollywood home video, it would have been either age-barred or altogether banned by the Nigerian Video Censors Board.

An “honourable” member had a heavy, blunt object in his two hands. He swung it over his head and delivered a hit on the forehead of another “honourable” member.

Rather than the victim turning tail and running for dear life as fast as his feet could take him, he was spinning around like a headless chicken. Perhaps, he was too dazed to run.

He was repeatedly attacked until he found himself near an exit door. Just before he plunged into it, his assailant released a final hit across back in the waist region. We later heard the blunt object was a camera tripod – a steel object!

Someone described that cold-blooded assault as an “attempted murder”. That assailant, whoever he is, must be prosecuted accordingly. The victim could easily have fallen down and lost his life. After all, the late Hon. Aminu Safana, a legislator from Katsina, simply slumped during a heated argument in the chamber of the House of Reps during the Patricia Etteh scandal in 2007 even though he was not even assaulted.

Another sickening part of it all was that a policeman decked in his newly-acquired fatigue uniform was seen stripping the victim of his black jacket and in the process rendering him more vulnerable before his attacker.

Earlier on, five members of the Rivers State House of Assembly opposed to Governor Chibuike Amaechi had conducted a comical charade in which they said they had impeached the Speaker of the House, Otelemabala Amachree, replacing him with Evans Bipi. What else would you call a situation where five out of 32 members of a legislature would purport to carry out an impeachment when the constitution clearly says they needed two-thirds majority or roughly 20 members. The impeachment’s nullity was proved when 26 members later assembled and attended to a supplementary budget brought to the house by the Deputy Governor, Tele Ikuru.

What happened that Tuesday was a move to push Governor Amaechi further to the outer fringes of power, perhaps before the final nudge. The opposition rehearsed its roles very carefully. You must have seen how the grounds of the Assembly were flooded with people described as “thugs” in some media quarters. Since there was a screening of both members and visitors to the Assembly, with scores of policemen in evidence, how was it possible for “thugs” to make it into the “hallowed chamber” of the House if superior powers were not in the picture and on the side of the opposition?

And how come that the policemen sat on their palms and watched the live movie, rather than do their job as law enforcement agents? Those (like Dr. Doyin Okupe, the Special Assistant to the President on Public Affairs) who said the Presidency had nothing to do with events of that day were merely playing to the gallery. This was simply the latest episode of the President Goodluck Jonathan versus Governor Chibuike Amaechi political muscle-flexing. It was the newest phase of the political game meant to push matters rapidly towards the endgame.

After the Nigerian Governors’ Forum (NGF) election, which Amaechi doggedly contested against the directives of his party, the People’s Democratic Party (PDP) and won, thus making President Jonathan lose face; he had drawn a bold battle line. He not only gave the president’s political enemies in the north the opportunity to betray the Party and the President; he was also the rallying point for the rebellion.

Thereafter, the two sides (President and Governor) made that routine protocol encounter at the Port Harcourt International Airport when Jonathan visited his home state. It was splashed all over the front pages of the dailies, and speculated as a move towards reconciliation. The following day, the major stakeholders opposed to Amaechi in the Rivers State PDP led by Hon. Felix Obuah, visited the President in Aso Villa. They included Amaechi’s former principal, ex-Governor Peter Odili. That visit was meant to keep the President focused on his warpath with the Governor.

The anti-Amaechi group would obviously want him out of the picture as soon as possible because he could remain an irritant on President Jonathan’s path to re-election in his home base. The PDP and the Presidency are set for a general re-jig of structures in readiness for the oncoming political high season and undesirable elements will be dropped from the wagon as soon as possible.

Amaechi started this crisis by striking the posture of an opposition element; a strange bedfellow, within the ruling party. He chose to fight the party and the Presidency from within, rather than honourably resign and join his allies in the All Progressives Congress (APC) parties, to which he is now the rallying point. People say he has the constitutional right to do what he is doing, but the party also has the right to protect itself from a member who now acts in the interest of the opposition. This is power play, and it is game on.

Amaechi says he is under siege. What did he expect? He would do the same to anyone who undermines him. The hand that disturbs the bee’s nest will be stung.

Boko Haram convictions

TUESDAY, July 9th 2013 became an important day in our history of war on terrorism. It was on this day that Hon. Justice Bilikisu Aliyu of an Abuja Federal High Court sentenced Shuaibu Abubakar, Salisu Ahmed, Umar Babagana, and Mohammed Ali, all members of the terror group, Boko Haram, to life in jail for their parts in the bombing of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) office in Suleija.

Many were elated that, at least and at last, some terrorists have been brought to book, even if they got less than they deserved: death, which they meted out to their victims.

Concerns remain, though. What about their sponsors; the big men who assembled and financed the ugly venture? You don’t kill a snake by cutting the tail leaving the head.

Secondly, sending them to jail for life means we have to be vigilant forever for fear of their affiliates setting them free through jailbreaks, the sort we witnessed in Ondo and Bama prisons recently.